Parenting, Talents, and Tithing

Happy Easter! A couple days late, but aren't we always celebrating what Easter morning represents?  It is amazing what God did for us that weekend so many years ago that lasts for eternity!  As I reflect on what he went through and what we get out of it, I am encouraged and empowered to give back to him and to utilize what he has given to me.  He has provided not only a roof over my head, a family, food on the table but talents and gifts that he entrusted to me to use for his service.  Sometimes, those talents may be hard to identify in my mind's eye but they are there, I just know it!

Once we consider parenting a calling, it changes our focus in many ways and one of those is how we spend our 'talents' that he has blessed us with.  In Matthew 25:14-28 Jesus shares the parable of the talents.  As a recap, there are three men whose master gives 'talents'.  (Back in the day talents were money, but I love that the word 'talent' can also be used as gifts God has given to us, creativity, organization, teaching, leading, singing, etc.)  In the parable each man, or servant, is given a number of talents and the master goes away.  Some of the men invest the talents and earn more than they began with while one buries his talents and only has what the master left him with when the master returns.  Wow, there are so many stories in that parable.  Are we using our talents for the Lord?  Are we hiding them deep in our heart and guarding them or are we using them in our daily parenting?  What skills have you been blessed with and how can you utilize them daily and in your parenting?  Our children have been entrusted to us for a time and they are fruitful ground upon which we can directly invest our talents that God has given us.  Can you use your creative ability in parenting, I would guess that you could?  What has God given you that you have not tapped into for use in parenting?

It is one thing to think about our talents and how we can use them in parenting, but if we take it a step further, we associate all we have been given by God with tithing.  Throughout the old testament, the people of God are commanded to provide a tithe to the Lord of their first fruits.  Their first fruits were the best of everything they have been given.  What if we considered tithing not just from our financial blessings from God but giving from our energy, mental resources, parenting, marriage, time, and love?  The first tithe was in Genesis 28:22.  After Jacob had an amazing dream from the Lord, through which he was struck by the awareness that the Lord would carry him through his coming journey and would provide food and clothing and everything he needed, he committed to the Lord to give him a tenth of everything the Lord gave to him.  What would happen if, as parents who are CALLED and not challenged, we took a tenth of everything the Lord has given us daily and fed that into our parenting and the example we set for our kids.  I think of the energy I have each day when I wake and the talents he has given me, and on the days I focus on my calling first with the use of that energy and those talents how different the day turns out for my children and I.  Traditionally I have been taught tithing as a tangible thing, financial.  But what if we tithe the intangible also?  If I used that daily in parenting I would be able to live out John 3:30 for my children.
"He must become greater; I must become less."  It would help them move them from me being their center to God being their center, right?

Are we giving the best of ourselves to the Lord and is that reflected in our parenting?

By His Grace

From Challenged Parenting to Called Parenting!

Parenting is not easy, can we start with that basic understanding?  There are times when we want to be left alone, or want to do something that seems more fun to us that playing with a ball in the pool or moving game pieces around a board for the 100th time.  My son loves the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and has read each of the books at least a couple times.  When he is going to bed and I am about to leave his room he inevitably calls me back and says, "Mom, can I read you just this one paragraph?"  What's  a tired parent to do?  What I want to do is say, "No, I am tired and I don't want to!  And additionally that Wimpy Kid is not funny to me!", but what I try to do, although not always successfully, is to be patient and listen to that one paragraph.

Parenting is a challenge, it takes all of our energy much of the time.  What if we viewed it as a job given us by God?  Because actually, that is what it is.  We could go so far as to name parenting a calling.  Yes, believe it or not we are called to parenting simply by the fact that there are people younger than us that have been entrusted into our care.  It may not feel as if we were on a mountain and God himself came and looked in our face and provided a list of instructions for us to follow as he did with Moses, but imagine the power of parenting as if you were called.  What if our children reaped the benefits of us believing that parenting is a Godly calling?  If we challenge ourselves to view parenting as a calling let me share a couple scriptures that might lead us daily.   

First consider :"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 
If we first love God and are called according to his purpose, in order for our children to find their purpose, we must be examples of how we found or are finding ours.  Do our children see us trying to fulfill our Godly purpose?  Do we even know what his purpose for our lives is?

Next think about: "We continually remember before our God and Father, your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ."  1 Thessalonians 1:3
This is a huge one, read that scripture again.  Do we continually remember that our work is produced by faith?  Is your focus on your parenting days and actions produced by your faith in God?  Do we labor in parenting as if the very actions and conversations we have with our children have been prompted by God's overwhelming and powerful love?  Parenting for sure takes endurance.  Is our endurance inspired by our hope in our savior or is it an effort to just get through the day?

And what about: "And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."  Colossians 1:10-12
Wow!  Imagine if that was how we parented and what we were trying to equip our kids to live in.  The great endurance and patience part speaks to me.  Don't we need God's great endurance and patience to parent, to answer the same question yet again, to listen to their theory on why that caterpillar is moving the way it does?  Don't we want our children to claim their divine inheritance?  What does that look like and do we think about that daily as we shuffle them from activity to activity?  I just recently told my daughter, "Get ready you have a huge week!"  What?  Why?  She is 10!  What portion of her week is moving her to her divine inheritance?  I have to look over the calendar and see what I come up with.

The ultimate one for me is "For in him we live and move and have our being,  as some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring'" Acts 17:28
Last Sunday my son and daughter wanted to play on the church playground. Normally when this happens I hold their shoes and find a place to sit and we talk about where Mommy will be so we are all centered.  This time I wanted to go to the bookstore on campus (we go to a big church) and they wanted to play.  I was fine with the arrangement, then my daughter said, "...but what will I do with my shoes?"  I said, " You can put them in a location and remember where they are and return to them."  She replied, "But I am going to be moving around the playground."  I realized that at this point in her life I, and her Daddy, are her center.  She moves around in her day and continually returns to us, as her center.  What I desire for her is that she move toward the abiity to lean to God as the center in her life and, ultimately, return to him throughout her day, as her center.  Oh, can we be a little sad for a minute?  But we do need to equip them.  This is a process she will go through as she grows and as she learns to rely on his love and believe in his path for her.  But I have the wonderful opportunity to be a part of that process, in his love and guidance.

A dear friend of mine recently made the following statement: "We are only a generation away from extinction".  Now, this is true of many things and can be quoted in many situations, but in the context of Christianity I was shocked.  When I thought about it more, it is really true for each successive generation.  We are called to train our children to live and move and have their being in God.  I know WE will not let our children's generation lose the beauty and conviction of a life with our savior.  God only needs a remnant.  So, the next time you feel challenged, remember you are CALLED!

Look for more next Sunday!
By His Grace

How Did I Get Here?

I have two children, one girl and one boy.  They have been my life's focus since they were born.  I am a reader of parenting books, a planner, a goal setter and an action oriented person.  I worked part time when they were small but still was able to find time to seek out the parenting techniques and tools that seemed the best for us and for them.

Once they entered school I was blessed with the ability to stop working.  Well, that's a fallacy, I stopped working for an establishment and worked solely for my calling - being a mother, which is funny because before I was married I wasn't sure if I wanted kids, but that is another story.  When I stopped working I had one child, a daughter, in kindergarten and the younger child, a son, in preschool and home with me.

When we release our children in the world we have hopes and dreams; fears and trepidations.  I remember the first day of kindergarten for each of them.  On Emma's first day, Cole and I walked her to school in this wonderful community-based neighborhood and she was looking as cute as could be.  We gathered on the kindergarten yard with all the other expectant children and distraught parents.  Cameras captured the moment in time and everyone was dressed in their kindergarten best.  We stood outside the classroom, lined up in a kindergarten-orderly fashion and waited for the teacher.  This adorable, grandma-aged, quintessential kindergarten teacher came out with her shiny little silver bell (can't you see it?).  She gently rang the ever-so-sweet bell, the kids (and parents) all looked up and she said, "Welcome to Mrs. Jacobs class!"  My daughter, who was basically fearless, walked right in with the line, turned, said, "Bye Mommy!" and walked confidently into the big, unknown, elementary school.  WHAT???  No tears?  No clinging?  I was robbed!  I walked home pushing Cole in the stroller crying my heart out both out of separation anxiety and beaming pride.

Then, Cole went to school three years later, same school, same yard, new teacher, but same basic experience.  Mrs. Rovzar came out, similar adorable-looking teacher, loving nature, same precious little bell, same reaction by my child.  Only one big difference, that adorable teacher, sweetly walked down the line of anxiety-ridden parents and handed out a cute rolled up piece of red paper with a gingham ribbon holding it closed.  I knew better than to read the letter right there.  I had been warned.  I went home, laid in my bed, slowly untied the gingham ribbon, unrolled the letter as if it was a scroll from the Lord God himself, slowly read through my tears and finished with a good old-fashioned sob session.  Seriously, Lord, why give me such precious gifts if I just have to give them up and send them off?

For your own amusement, I would love to share that wonderfully understanding letter with you. 

Did it make you cry?  If it did, you are my people!  We are in this together!

School, in general, has been a good experience for both my kids.  Today as I write this, Emma is mid-way through fifth grade and Cole is mid-way through second grade.  At school I did as much as I could.  I volunteered in the classroom, took on helping jobs that enabled me to get to know the teachers, school staff and the other kids in my children's grades.  I have, and continue to, help with homework, talk through social issues with friends, continue to read parenting books and thoroughly enjoy my role and my observations as a proud mother of two wonderful children.

About a year ago I was lucky enough to see the documentary, Race to Nowhere.  If you have not seen this movie and have kids 20 years of age or less, see it!  This documentary brings to life the pressures our children are under in the school system, the sports system, the competition system, the society system; just pick a system and name it!  It was real to me, very disturbing, but true nonetheless.  It made sense to me, but I left the movie feeling very frustrated.  If you are at all like me, you are happy to discuss problems but only if the discussion is wrapped up with a conclusion, a course, a path, a plan of action.  I would not be an effective 'think tank' person.  I want action.  In-action, when there is an obvious problem, frustrates me.  The movie's 'call to action' was to spread the word to begin, and fuel, a grass roots movement to challenge the educational and societal system that our children are operating within.  What does that grass roots movement look like?  I had no idea.  What was I to move toward?  What grass needed roots?  What needed to be watered?  What needed to be cultivated?  After my viewing, I went home and, much to my husband's chagrin, had a fire lit under me.  What was the purpose?  Why show the movie?  What could I do in my world and what did that mean for my children?  Since my initial viewing and reaction, the movie has gained huge momentum and I do follow that movement, watch and listen, and am glad for the support and results they are achieving.  But that particular 'grass roots movement' is not my purpose.

No, I don't want my children to race to nowhere.  Yes, I want them to be understood for who they are and what their unique talents are and I want that to be celebrated in their lives.  I want them to be what God created them to be....

WAIT!  What God created them to be!  That was the answer, like no illumination or vision I have ever had, God said to me there is a 'Journey to Somewhere'!  I had been running, for exercise, not from the Lord, and thinking through the movie and my need for action and a solution. As I was running, my sweet and patient Lord, in no uncertain terms, spoke to me in a stronger manner than at any other time in my life.  Maybe I am a little more dense than any other time in my life, but this time, I HEARD him!

Each of us has a 'Journey to Somewhere'.  That is the crux of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart."

Our precious children have been entrusted to us, by God, for a time.  We put them into the society machine in good faith.  We don't want to see them stressed out, but we want them to learn, we don't want them to strive for things they don't want, but we want them to do better than we did.  What is a family to do?  Do we remove ourselves from the machine, take our kids out of the craziness, find a remote location to live in, let them run free in the fields and wait for the Lord to return and gather his people to him?  While that may sound, in many ways, divinely wonderful, it is not reality and it does not create a future for our precious little ones.  So, what is a focused, active, loving parent to do?

That is where this writing began.  With a movie, a run, an epiphany and the grace of God  to move forward.  We need to equip our children for the path God has created them for.  Thus the topic of my next entry...stay tuned.

By His Grace