Constant Reboot

We got a puppy for Christmas!  Wow, had I forgotten what that entails and, as true in all situations, God is good to illustrate my life and parenting through this little bundle of energy and razor sharp teeth.  Talk about self-control, puppies have none!  Our vet told us, "Positive training only, catch her doing behaviors that you want to encourage and reward her, teach her to sit for everything so she knows how she is supposed to act."  Well, you try that with an excited puppy who has been asleep most of the night and has energy to burn, mostly through the use of the previously mentioned razor sharp teeth.  Needless to say, my morning quiet time has not been so quiet, but God is good.

After the visit to the vet, we went full-focus on sit, with little treats each time and we are trying very hard not to yell or be negative with her.  Imagine trying that with a toddler in full-blown tantrum.  It is truly working but it takes such diligence, preparation and patience.  Just yesterday my husband sat on the floor with our little addition and soon enough she was crawling, jumping and nipping (which is a positive word for biting), all over him.  Give a puppy a little and they want everything, which demonstrates a serious lack of self-control.  In the midst of the craziness I decided to try my new tactic.  I walked up to the hysteria and in a calm voice said, "Sit".  Unbelievably the puppy stopped, sat and looked up at me.  My husband and I both laughed hysterically and are now calling the sit command a puppy reboot.

In our daily lives and in our kids' lives we are constantly challenged with things, food, toys, technology, and our self-control is always at risk.  The closer we are to God, the more often we hear his soft, calm, voice and we get a little reboot.  The more frequently that reboot happens, the closer we walk with Him.  The Lord is constantly trying to lead and shepherd us gently, but do we have enough self-control to hear him?  Isaiah 40:11 says, "He protects His flock like a shepherd, He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them in the fold of His garment.  He gently leads those that are nursing."  Don't you think it would take self-control to be carried in the folds of a garment?  But how safe does that sound  If only we could really use self-control to follow His commands moment by moment.

Through this puppy experience we are learning she has no boundaries until they are given to her and repeated constantly until they have sunk into her being.  Don't you find yourself repeating things with your kids, setting boundaries that you thought you had already set, but seem to be getting pushed once again?  And in our own walk with Christ, he has established boundaries in His Word that require self-control on our part through His strength which He reminds us of, gently through His Spirit.  A constant reboot even for us.

Our puppy needs constant direction and reminding, as do our children, as do we.  Titus 3:1-2 says, "Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to slander no one, to avoid fighting, and to be kind, always showing gentleness to all people."  In order to be ready for good works, we have to obey, and obedience takes self-control and a disciplined life.  Just as I have to teach our puppy to obey so she can be a 'good girl', I need to help my kids understand God's commands and how to obey those so they can be used by Him.

As we end this year and our time on the fruits of the spirit, may the focus we have had on them not end, but may it grow and deepen as our children grow in Christ.  May we as parents, gently lead and be reminded that we have been called to shape and grow these little ones to find the path God has for them.  Building takes a long time and it is a journey.  It takes focus and looking at the plan provided in God's Word.  It takes time for reflection, listening and intention toward the things God has outlined for us.  Rome was not built in a day, but it did get built.  "The whole building, being put together by Him, grows into a holy sanctuary in the Lord.  You also are being built together for God's dwelling in the Spirit."  Ephesians 2:21-22

We are being built and helping to build our children to grow into a holy sanctuary; people who love God and walk in His path on a journey to somewhere.  The closer they are to God the more they will hear His reboot and will enjoy the peace of abiding in Him.  I encourage you to be intentional in your parenting, but this is not the end of Imagine Parenting.  Join me in the new year as I intentionally disciple my children through the wonderful stories in the bible and encouraging them through scripture and God's word so that, ultimately, they find their own journey to somewhere with God as their center.  See you in 2012!

By His Grace

Meet Hula!

Gravitational Pull

The book of 2 John is a small 'postcard'.  It was written to a woman and references her children.  It will take you about 3 minutes to read, but holds huge ideas.  The woman could be a mother or she could also be a leader in a church and her children are the members.  I like to think it was a mother trying to equip her children in the truth and John, who was one of Jesus' disciples, one of the sons of fire (James and John), regarded her enough to send her a letter of encouragement and reminder.  Because we mothers all need that sometimes.

2 John verses 5-6 says, "And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning.  I ask that we love one another.  And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands.  As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." 
What is love?  To John love was not a sweet, sentimental affection for another person that warmed his insides or gave him butterflies, it was, as my study bible said, an 'ethical expectation'.  This is what I have been trying, sometimes successfully and sometimes not, for the last seven months to plant in my children.  That love is an action, a decision, a change in behavior.  To do that we have used the fruit of the spirit as supporting actions that fall under the umbrellas of love actions, which really are an ethical expectation.  And trust me when I say, I expect love actions from my kids, but that doesn't mean I always see them (just last week Emma had to make an apology phone call), but that is where grace comes in.

The word in 2 John verse 6 that sticks out to me is obedience.  And as believers what are we to be obedient to?  Well, in 2 John verse 9, John reminds us.  "Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son."  My whole motivation for parenting shifted about a year ago and what I want my kids to know is Christ and his word.  To gain knowledge of Christ, we must be obedient, and to me obedience is self-control.  Are you with me so far?

You can only be obedient to something you know and understand.  It is like wanting to know the rules before you play a game.  And our kids need to know his word before they can be successful in the life he has planned for them.  Our children have been chosen by God and Jesus died for each of them.. We say that often, but do we understand the gravity of it?  1 John 4:10 says, "This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us, and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."  Love, again, is an ethical expectation in response to the knowledge of what God did by sending his son and what Jesus did by enduring the cross.  1 Peter 1:2 says,"...who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood...".  Our children have been chosen for a journey with God, to be in covenant relationship with him provided by the blood of Christ and that relationship should be characterized by obedience to his teachings, his word, the ultimate blueprint for life, the bible.  Can I get an AMEN!?!?!  Okay, off my soapbox.

Truly, it is a daunting task and to me the common underpinning is self-control.  It requires self-control as a parent to maintain a biblical parenting trajectory.  And it takes self-control on our kid's part to grow and stretch and test and learn while attempting to be obedient to God's teachings even when time with God and in his word can easily get swept under the rug or postponed.  I began this blog to instill some parenting self-control in my life; to create a consistent theme or focus that would begin to root my kids in him.

I have enjoyed the concept of the wise men and talking to my kids about their fixed point and how much self-control it takes to focus on that fixed point.  What I pray is that they come to know God so deeply that their fixed point becomes a gravitational pull.  That they are so rooted that the winds of the world will not pull them out and that they will remain in him.

We were at a family party yesterday and my son, Cole, was outside with some kids and my Dad.  There were outdoor rugs down on the patio and one kid was hopping around and the rug slipped a little and he fell down.  My Dad asked Cole if they should move the rugs, and Cole said, "No, I think the gravitational pull will keep the rugs in place."  What?  It was hilarious, but as I reflected this morning it is an amazing illustration.  Our gravitational pull should be God and our landing pad (rug in this case) or our connection to God (gravitational pull) is Jesus.  How we react to, walk on, deal with that rug and the gravitational pull depends on our obedience and self-control.  The gravitational pull does not change, nor would it help to remove the rug, or take Jesus out of the equation.  We have a free will, but how much more sweet and joyful life is when we rest on Jesus and allow him to lead us to God?  He has so much to give us if we would only be obedient.

Isaiah 58:13b-14: "...and if you honor it (God's law) by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."

By His Grace

Practically, I feel like I try to leave an activity or action item for you, in case you are walking this adventure with me.  My kids are memorizing the scriptures that root our family statement of faith by reading them at bedtime five times each, one at a time, until we know them all.  It takes self-control.

The Star

I had the privilege of participating in an Advent Quiet Day last week.  The focus of our quiet and meditation was the wise men that followed the star of Jesus.  What an amazing illustration they were of our journey to eternal life and our need to exercise self-control in all aspects of that journey.

The 'magos' (in Greek) were those who have wisdom through investigation and interpretation of the heavenly bodies.  (Holman Christian Study Bible Word Study)  In the sky they saw a star, they were, after all, astrologers.  That star became their fixed point. Now, the star was in the sky, so not a totally tangible fixed point but a fixed point nonetheless.  I learned their journey had to have taken 18 months to 2 years due to the distance, mode of travel, passing of time as they met with Herod before setting out on the journey, etc.  During that long period of time, I believe they were doing constant investigation, research and reflection on how that day's progress had moved them closer to their fixed point, the star.  They would have had to chart their course for the day, determine where the star was in the sky, how that day's course had moved them forward, or not, and what the plan or course would be for the next day in order to continue to make progress toward their fixed point.

Imagine for a moment with me all the details that would go into a trip that would take 18 months to complete, and on camels no less!  Imagine all the potential things that could have distracted them from their fixed point, the daily mundane things that could have taken their focus away from their investigation and research on their progress toward their fixed point.  There had to have been at least one road that would not progress them toward the star, but that looked interesting and may have appeared to be worth a detour.  There had to have been at least one day when they did not want to pick up camel poop and wanted to just stay where they were and give up on the journey.  I mean really, camel poop for 18 months?  Did it not take divinely-inspired self-control to not let the amount of potential distractions deter them from their fixed point?

God's desire for eternal life with Him is our fixed point, our star.  Our daily walk is our journey; our investigation, our progress toward our fixed point.  There are so many things in my life and in my kids' lives that threaten to distract us from our focus on that fixed point.  We have to be diligent about our progress toward our fixed point and that, my fellow parents, takes divinely-inspired self-control.

Emma recently received her first cell phone as a birthday present.  With that phone came a contract between Emma and my husband and I that provides clear guidelines for the use of that phone.  Emma loves that phone.  It is always close to her and some days it feels as if she uses it constantly.  And, she has pushed the boundaries of the contract.  This week I had to remind her of her contract and suggested she go back and re-read the contract so the guidelines and details were crystal clear in her mind.  Her contract requires self-control.  And the re-reading of the contract caused her to reflect on her adherence to the contract and the effectiveness of her self-control.

As we walk through our daily lives, how often each day, each moment, do we lose focus on our fixed point and how do we call on our divinely-inspired self-control to reset our focus on the star?  Our contract is the bible, God's word.  It is our blueprint, map, and contract for our journey to our fixed point.  If we are tracking, investigating, and meditating on our progress toward eternal life, we are utilizing his word to check that progress and potentially changing our course for the next day or the next moment to refocus on our fixed point.

I want my kids to have a clear picture of their fixed point, their star and all that it entails to journey toward that star.  So a couple days ago we talked about the wise men, their journey, the star, the camel poop, and how that relates to our challenge in life to show God's love and to engage self-control.  As a memory point I gave them each a small wise men to carry in their pocket for the month to remind them of the journey they are on and how it requires self-control.  Philippians 3:12-14 (HCSB) says, 'Not that I have already reached [the goal] or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.  we must be constantly looking forward and up toward our fixed point in order to maintain focus and remember where our journey is taking us, closer and closer to God.

It takes self-control, focus, commitment, investigation of the word, determination, perseverance, and many other things.  I am encouraged so far by my kids excitement and use of their wise men and have enjoyed a couple sweet conversations about what it means to seek Him.

By His Grace

Statement of Faith

Have you created a statement of faith with your kids? What a precious experience! I am sharing ours today. We got together last week and I asked the kids what they believed about God. Some of their answers had to be a little re-directed, but we came up with some basic tenets that root us in Christ and enable us to walk in love actions and produce fruit for the kingdom.  All our roots are solid and elementary school age driven, I do envision the revisiting of our statement of faith as they grow and their faith deepens and as they learn more about God and his Word.

When they came up with their beliefs, we made sure they were grounded in scripture and we assigned a scripture to each root.  As we go through this next month and move on to focusing on self-control, we will also be memorizing the scriptures that root our statement of faith.

I will post on self-control in the next couple days.
By His Grace