Leave It Behind

When Jesus called His disciples He asked them to leave everything behind and follow Him.  As my kids and I focused our talks each morning on the retelling of Jesus calling His disciples and what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, the concept of leaving things behind kept coming up.  We know our kids aren't being asked to leave a job, a home, a life behind, as the twelve were, so what are they being called to leave behind as they learn to follow Jesus?

We talked a lot about the idea that what we leave behind is a daily decision.  For my two kids, what resonated with them was the leaving behind of hurts, anger, frustration, worry, sadness, and all those other negative feelings they encounter each day.  It's the whole turn the other cheek concept, but turning the other cheek in such a way that they have made a choice in that moment for Jesus.  They have made a choice in the moment they leave something behind to be a disciple.  And the practice of this strengthens their and our walk with the Lord.  Ask your kids, "What can you leave behind today?".   "What will you be faced with today that will give you the opportunity to leave something behind to be a disciple?"  The concept of leaving something behind for God and focusing on it, helps us and our kids learn to walk in closer relationship with Him.  Which begs the question, what keeps us and our kids from putting God first?

It's so easy in the information age to put all kinds of things first.  There are thousands of messages begging for our kids hearts daily and they need to be equipped to filter them, put God first, and leave things behind daily.  I have been doing a bible study by Vicki Courtney called, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son.  One of those conversations fit into the whole idea that what we can't leave behind keeps us from God.  Vicki titles the conversation, what you don't learn to control will become your master.

My son, Cole, is a video game player, but we do enforce screen time limits and screen time means any screen; TV, computer, iTouch, DS.  When we started time limits we talked about what we think about most is what stops us from thinking about God.  Ugh, so here we go with the yuck.  This past weekend Cole had used up his screen time and as I headed off to do errands we talked about him finding other activities for the rest of the day.  When I returned a couple hours later he was on the couch playing his DS.  No, he wasn't alone for two hours and yes I should have communicated the expectation with his Dad, but he is 10 years old now and some responsibility for yourself is important.  What I wanted to do was scream at him.  What I did say was, "Please tell me you have not been here for two hours?"  Yes, he pretty much had been there for two hours.

But, God is good.  I went up to my room while he changed for his afternoon activity and I prayed and tried hard to think of a scripture.  The Vicki Courtney conversation came to mind and the scripture Romans 12:2.  So I sat in Cole's room and explained that God wants his heart and mind and when it is focused elsewhere it is not His.  We talked about the fact that when he forgets stuff at home and school, he is probably thinking about a video game instead of what is needed at the time and he admitted that this was true.  We talked about how he was giving his heart and mind to video games instead of to God.  We then went off to his activity, which was at a church, and as we walked through the youth room, do you know what was written bigger than life on the chalk board wall?
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing, and perfect will"  Romans 12:2!

How awesome is God?  We looked at each other, smiled and said together, God wants our hearts and minds.  God showed up in Cole's life exactly when he needed Him.  Leaving things behind to be a disciple can be a hard concept for kids.  It sets them apart from their friends, and it can make them stand out at times.  But when the Lord speaks to them, their soft, pliable hearts hear Him.  Our job as parents is to tee it up for the Lord by teaching them to be His disciples.

By His Grace

D-1: Jesus Calls

In order for our children to find God's purpose for their lives, to make Him their hub and central focus from which all other things function, they must first understand that He called them to be disciples.

I picked up a book called Story Thru the Bible which provides stories and discussion questions around a myriad of key learnings and lessons in the bible.  Kids learn by stories and repeating stories, in fact, they really love to tell stories.  Just the other night my daughter had a new, sweet friend stay the night for the first time and our dinner table was filled with stories.  Emma would tell a story about our dog and then her friend would tell a story about her dog and then grandma's dog and then the stories morphed into things about family life and vacations.  It was an insightful way for them to get to know each other and the events that took place before they came into each other's lives.  There are details in stories that change the listeners perception and this provides the opportunity for kids to learn many things from the same story while committing the story to memory.  How cool would it be if our kids moved through life telling the stories of God?  Radical, as a dear friend of mine would say!

So I began a discipleship journey with my kids and what follows is a synopsis of lesson one: Jesus Calls.  So we begin in Luke 5:1-11.  This passage is the point in scripture where Jesus calls Simon Peter, James and John to be His disciples.  A brief overview: Jesus was teaching the crowds and so many had gathering he had to get into a boat (Simon Peter's boat) and cast out a little way so more people could see and hear Him.  When He finished, He came ashore and told Simon Peter, James, and John to put their nets out again.  They had previously experienced a bad day of fishing and were doubtful as to why to repeat a previous failure, but they put their nets out and came up with a huge catch, so much so their nets were tearing. Then, Jesus calls them to follow Him and they leave everything behind and follow Him.

I asked my kids a lot of questions about the story, many from the Story Thru the Bible book itself.  Through the questions we were able to dive into the detail of the story.  Here is a sampling:
-Why were the crowds following Jesus?
-Why would He get into the boat?  Who's boat was it?
-Do you think Simon Peter was concerned about his boat?
-Had Simon Peter had a good fishing day?  What do you think he thought when Jesus asked him to put his nets back in?  Did he doubt?
-What does 'leave everything behind' mean?  What if Daddy had to do exactly that?

A fun discussion ensued, we even talked about the size of the Sea of Galilee.  We circled back to discipleship, what does it mean to be a disciple?  We each have a 'discipleship journal', so we opened them and wrote what the kids said it meant to be a disciple.  They said we show God's love and care, we read the bible, and we commit love actions, which is our family's umbrella for the fruits of the spirit in action.  Fruits of the spirit led me to John 15.  If we are to be disciples and commit love actions to show the world we are disciples, we have to get our nourishment from God.  Just as we need food and water, the branch of a plant needs the center, or the vine, to feed it.  We cannot grow to be disciples without spending time getting food from the vine.  We drew a picture of a branch, vine and soil in our journals and talked about Jesus being our vine and source.  We wrote John 15:5 in our journals as our memory verse.
"I am the vine; you are the branches,  If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing."

In closing, each of my kids retold the story of Jesus calling the disciples and then we retold it again throughout the week.  I shared with them two more scriptures that underscored what we had talked about, they wrote their locations in their journals and we talked about what they meant in terms of being disciples of Jesus.
2 John 1:9: "Anyone who does not remain in Christ's teaching but goes beyond it does not have God.  The one who remains in that teaching, this one has both the Father and the Son."
Proverbs 27:19: "As water reflects the face, so the heart reflects the person."

What a sweet discussion!  Be real with your kids, it is not easy to be a disciple.  But we know and believe that God is our vine and we must train ourselves to find our source there, in Him.  I want people to see Jesus in my children, I desire for them to live in His peace and joy regardless of what situation they are in, so I will persevere in discipling them and look for times He provides to talk to them about the topic of being a disciple.  They are tasked with looking at their journal each night to remind them that Jesus called them.

I would love to hear from anyone who tries this!  What did your kids say?  Did God move?  He will, you know!

By His Grace

 

Make Disciples, Seriously?

"Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nationsMk 16:15; Lk 24:47 baptizing Ac 28:16 them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  Matthew 28:19-20
This was Jesus' final command and a major focus of His ministry. He spoke to crowds and crowds of people as they followed Him through the course of His ministry. He used illustrations and parables for the crowds as well as the Pharisees and naysayers, but as crowds dispersed and He sought solitude, He took His disciples aside and explained His teachings in depth, so they understood it, so they could live it, so they could ultimately teach it to others.

I was lucky enough to go through a 'discipleship' two years ago. The specific discipleship journey I participated in was created by Ray and Anne Ortlund. Check them out, amazing people. Their vision was to disciple small groups (men by men and women by women) who would, in turn, disciple their own groups. This month I began leading my second group of people through the discipleship journey created by Ray and Anne. What has struck me over the last two years is that our children also need to be discipled, in a systematic, age appropriate way, so they also learn to be disciples of Jesus.

In my 'journey to somewhere' with my kids, my desired 'somewhere' is a central focus on Him. This is not to diminish the parenting needed to help them in school, guide them in studying, encourage them to persevere in sports, make sure they eat healthy, ensure they get enough sleep, and everything else we do each day. But a life lived with God in the center is the hub which all those things should rotate around.  So why do we put the spiritual development of our children on the back burner or minimize it to little conversations or teachable moments?  Don't we sneak spiritual development in at mealtimes or nighttime prayers or wait for a bump in the road to talk to them about what Jesus would do?  Why don't we get together with like minded moms and share our challenges and ideas on the spiritual development of our children? Disclaimer: If you are discipling your children in a meaningful, consistent and effective manner then I take back what I just said.  But, aren't most of us in the previous category, at least half of the time or more? Aren't we caught up in grades, homework, shuttling, feeding, washing, and the myriad of other tasks that make our to do list each day. You know why we are caught up in the list? Why we default to the daily grind? Because we are scared! Please admit it. Join me in the fear, it will make me, and you, feel better!  

After my discipleship journey, the expectation was that I disciple a group as I had been discipled. Wow, did I sit on that until the last possible minute! I listened to the Lord whisper in my ear all summer, reminding me of the commitment I had made to sharing what I had learned, to lead my own group. So what did I do?  Yep, I waited, hoping that all the women who He had me praying for would already be committed to a study for the Fall, then I sent an email talking about discipleship, the intense commitment level and all the reading we would do and to just get back to me if that sounded like something they wanted in their life.  Ha!  I exaggerate a little, but I was hopeful that everyone was committed elsewhere. Well, I ended up with a group and was terrified! Who was I to lead this group?

Don't you think Jesus' disciples felt the same way? Do you think they felt like they had learned everything they needed to know and were totally prepped to lead the charge and assume Jesus' ministry? They still doubted. Peter, the beloved disciple, denied Him three times during the passion week.   That denial is actually the culmination of Peter's doubting which can be traced throughout the gospels.  But Peter went on to disciple others.  After Jesus ascended, the disciples had to have been shaking in their boots, at a minimum, and they were most definitely mourning the loss of Jesus.  As they looked around that table I imagine them thinking, "Who's gonna step up now?".  Then you know what they did? They banded together, they prayed together, they supported each other, they relied on each other and their foundational belief in Jesus and His ministry.  "Now all the believers were together and held all things in common.  Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple complex, and broke bread from house to house.  They ate their food with a joyful and humble attitude, praising God and having favor with all the people.  And every day the Lord added to them those who were being saved."  Acts 2:44,46-47

You know what that required? Faith. "For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead."  James 2:26  This is an important scripture and idea.  Do we live it, take it at its root, take God's commands and move forward in action and faith?  "Train a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not turn away from it."  Proverbs 22:6  I desire a life for my children where God is their center, their hub, the thing that everything else moves around. My faith and that desire has gotten my scared little 'you know what' off my couch to 'disciple' my kids. You can too! Faith, sister, faith.
Watch for the specific discipleship lessons I am doing with my kids. They are based on Anne's curriculum, made age appropriate for my kids.  Well, they are made as appropriate as this fearful Mom is able.
By HIS Grace

The Parenting Paradox

Give and take, push and pull, giving is receiving, to be or not to be, that is the question.  Our life is filled with dualities, things that seem contrary to each other but exist in the same time, experience, or situation.  To me, the dualities of life is like living in a paradox and parenting is the ultimate paradox.

My last post was February 11, 2012 and it was about the BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) that I had set for myself, with the Lord's prodding, to disciple my children.  I struggled and convinced myself that I was ill-equipped, then I started, then I stopped, then I started, then I stopped, then He urged again and again.  And now, I have begun and will share our journey with you, but first let's talk about living in paradox.

It is now early October of yet another school year and what that means is, yes, my kids are still going to school each day.  Which means that I made it through the first month of them leaving me, again.  I never want them to go back to school but I want them to learn and grow.  I don't want them to want to go to other people's houses, but I want them to live in community with others.  I don't want them to experience disappointment or loss, but I want them to have life experiences that shape their hearts.  I don't want them to ever get hurt but I want them to try new things and take responsible risks.  I, basically, don't want them to ever leave, but I am excited to see what God has in store for their lives.  In the end, as in the beginning, they are His, but it's the paradox that often bogs me down.

Parenting is a paradox...

Parenting is a series of small things that break your heart aligned with another series of things that touch your heart.  The challenge is enjoying your time with your kids, while developing and parenting their little hearts and skills in order for them to ultimately leave you.  Ugh.  What God had been reminding me all spring and has most recently continued to drill into my 'sometimes' thick head, is that He is the author of paradox.  In 2 Corinthians 12:9 Paul writes, "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness,'"  and a little later, at the end of verse 10 in the same chapter he says, "For when I am weak, then I am strong."  What I love about God is that He is the ultimate paradox.  He repeatedly tells us in His word that in our weakness, He is strong.  So paradoxically, when we are weak, we will find our strength, in Him.  So when we submit to Him then we will find His intention for us.  Additionally, Jesus spoke in illustrations that were often times paradoxical and challenged the way the Jews and Gentiles of the day thought.

In Matthew 20 we find the parable of the vineyard workers.  In the parable, the vineyard owner hires workers at different times of the day and at the end of the day, he pays all workers the same, regardless of the time they worked in the vineyard.  "So the last will be first, and the first will be last."  (Matthew 20:16)  A challenge to the thinking of the day and current thinking for sure.  Then later in the same chapter Jesus' disciples argue about who will sit on His right in the kingdom of heaven and again He challenges their thinking by saying, "On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave."  (Matthew 20:26,27)  Later, He repeats himself after He has made the triumphant entry and the Pharisees are trying to confound Him.  "The greatest among you will be your servant.  Whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."  Matthew 23:11,12

God is the author of paradox

Because God is the author of paradox, I know that in the push and pull of parenting, He has a plan.  One of my favorite verses, which I must remind myself of all the time is, " For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  (Matthew 6:21)  I know that the desire of my heart is to parent my children into the path God intends for their lives.  I also know He is in control and at least this one desire of mine lines up with His desire for my children.  I might have a couple other treasures in my heart that align with His but for now let's focus on this one.  Even when I feel weak and unable to disciple them, even when I fight against what He wants from me, even when I am crying in my bed because school has started again and I miss them, even in those moments, He is my strength for the journey.  In that I can rest and be strong.

By His Grace