2 John verses 5-6 says, "And now, dear lady, I am not writing you a new command but one we have had from the beginning. I ask that we love one another. And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love."
What is love? To John love was not a sweet, sentimental affection for another person that warmed his insides or gave him butterflies, it was, as my study bible said, an 'ethical expectation'. This is what I have been trying, sometimes successfully and sometimes not, for the last seven months to plant in my children. That love is an action, a decision, a change in behavior. To do that we have used the fruit of the spirit as supporting actions that fall under the umbrellas of love actions, which really are an ethical expectation. And trust me when I say, I expect love actions from my kids, but that doesn't mean I always see them (just last week Emma had to make an apology phone call), but that is where grace comes in.
What is love? To John love was not a sweet, sentimental affection for another person that warmed his insides or gave him butterflies, it was, as my study bible said, an 'ethical expectation'. This is what I have been trying, sometimes successfully and sometimes not, for the last seven months to plant in my children. That love is an action, a decision, a change in behavior. To do that we have used the fruit of the spirit as supporting actions that fall under the umbrellas of love actions, which really are an ethical expectation. And trust me when I say, I expect love actions from my kids, but that doesn't mean I always see them (just last week Emma had to make an apology phone call), but that is where grace comes in.
The word in 2 John verse 6 that sticks out to me is obedience. And as believers what are we to be obedient to? Well, in 2 John verse 9, John reminds us. "Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son." My whole motivation for parenting shifted about a year ago and what I want my kids to know is Christ and his word. To gain knowledge of Christ, we must be obedient, and to me obedience is self-control. Are you with me so far?
You can only be obedient to something you know and understand. It is like wanting to know the rules before you play a game. And our kids need to know his word before they can be successful in the life he has planned for them. Our children have been chosen by God and Jesus died for each of them.. We say that often, but do we understand the gravity of it? 1 John 4:10 says, "This is love: not that we loved God but that he loved us, and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." Love, again, is an ethical expectation in response to the knowledge of what God did by sending his son and what Jesus did by enduring the cross. 1 Peter 1:2 says,"...who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood...". Our children have been chosen for a journey with God, to be in covenant relationship with him provided by the blood of Christ and that relationship should be characterized by obedience to his teachings, his word, the ultimate blueprint for life, the bible. Can I get an AMEN!?!?! Okay, off my soapbox.
Truly, it is a daunting task and to me the common underpinning is self-control. It requires self-control as a parent to maintain a biblical parenting trajectory. And it takes self-control on our kid's part to grow and stretch and test and learn while attempting to be obedient to God's teachings even when time with God and in his word can easily get swept under the rug or postponed. I began this blog to instill some parenting self-control in my life; to create a consistent theme or focus that would begin to root my kids in him.
I have enjoyed the concept of the wise men and talking to my kids about their fixed point and how much self-control it takes to focus on that fixed point. What I pray is that they come to know God so deeply that their fixed point becomes a gravitational pull. That they are so rooted that the winds of the world will not pull them out and that they will remain in him.
We were at a family party yesterday and my son, Cole, was outside with some kids and my Dad. There were outdoor rugs down on the patio and one kid was hopping around and the rug slipped a little and he fell down. My Dad asked Cole if they should move the rugs, and Cole said, "No, I think the gravitational pull will keep the rugs in place." What? It was hilarious, but as I reflected this morning it is an amazing illustration. Our gravitational pull should be God and our landing pad (rug in this case) or our connection to God (gravitational pull) is Jesus. How we react to, walk on, deal with that rug and the gravitational pull depends on our obedience and self-control. The gravitational pull does not change, nor would it help to remove the rug, or take Jesus out of the equation. We have a free will, but how much more sweet and joyful life is when we rest on Jesus and allow him to lead us to God? He has so much to give us if we would only be obedient.
Isaiah 58:13b-14: "...and if you honor it (God's law) by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
By His Grace
Practically, I feel like I try to leave an activity or action item for you, in case you are walking this adventure with me. My kids are memorizing the scriptures that root our family statement of faith by reading them at bedtime five times each, one at a time, until we know them all. It takes self-control.
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