Patience, Mommy, Patience

Patience...I am the last person that should be writing about patience and how we can teach it to our kids.  I am not the most patient person in any sense of the word.  I can feel situations when my whole spirit wants to rebel against patience.  So, for the last two weeks, knowing the topic of patience was coming after peace, I was so impatient with myself, I robbed my spirit of peace, knowing that I had nothing to say about patience.  Then my gracious, loving God taught me a lesson through my daughter.

Emma is a very physical child.  She wrestles with her brother and Daddy, she grabs her friends when they are being silly, she puts her hand on people's backs when they are walking, she puts her head on a shoulder when sitting on the couch and she is constantly invading my space!  I am not a touchy person and am pretty aware of my personal space.  In the last two weeks, Emma and I have gone numerous places together and when she is not walking in front of me cutting me off or bumping into me, she is holding my arm.  As we walk, I feel her slip her hand around my left arm and hook us together.  If I am being brutally honest, it often makes my skin crawl, however, I love her with my entire being.  I am so proud of her and my love for her is unconditional, unceasing and yes, long-suffering.  So, no matter how my physical body feels, I would never remove her arm from mine because I love her so much.  And God has showed me, that, is patience.  God so loved us that he (patiently) gave his only son.  (John 3:16a edited by me.)

Patience is a love action.  Remember those?  It is a decision in the moment to be patient in the situation even when you want to act in anger, frustration, judgment or disbelief.  1 Corinthians 13 defines what love is for us and the first 'love is' that is listed is 'love is patient..' (1 Corinthians 13:4)  We are called to show God's love to the world and to our children and enable our children to, in kind, show His love to their world.  We can do that first and foremost by reacting with patience.  This, I know firsthand, is not easy for all of us and may not be easy for our children.

Henri Nouwen wrote: "We are called to be fruitful - not successful, not productive, not accomplished."  This was more than helpful to me.  In John 15, Jesus provides us with the illustration of a vineyard and it's vines and branches.  "I am the vine; you are the branches."  (John 15:5)  If we are tuned into God we will be fruitful branches.  But there is forgiveness and patience from our God when we are not quite so fruitful.  Imagine how patient Jesus had to be to deal with all of us when he was on earth.  How patient does he have to be to deal with us know?  To continue to love, protect and speak to us when we are not quite as fruitful takes an amazing amount of patience, at least in my case it does.  But still, He, patiently, watches over us as a gardener.  Isaiah 27:2-3 says, "Sing about a fruitful vineyard:  I, the Lord, watch over it; I water it continually.  I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it."
A fruitful vineyard is a process.  Something that ebbs and flows, that is pruned and cut back and that ultimately, depending on the skill of the gardener, produces amazing fruit.  We, and our children, are fruitful works in progress.  Have patience, sit back and watch what the most amazing gardener will do with your kids, and you, if you let him.

When I spoke with Emma about the peace of being yoked with Jesus in the context of her angst around returning to school (remember the last two posts on peace?), her face revealed confusion.  I asked, "Doesn't it help to know that you are yoked and he will be with you wherever you go?"  She responded, "Not really."  Seriously?  My spirit rebelled against my patience level.  I was frustrated that she didn't get it.  Then, a week or so later, in a sweet moment, I asked her to explain being yoked to Cole.  She did, wonderfully, I might add.  Then I mentioned that she didn't really think it helped that much but that it was a good story.  And she said, "When you left, I thought about it, and it actually does help."

Patience, Mommy, you are a fruitful work in progress, as are your kids.  Give them to the Lord and he will be an amazing gardener.