The Fruit of Kindness

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people,..."  Galatians 6:9,10a
It is so easy to move through life acting or behaving as those around us.  When a group gets together don't they all tend to say and do similar things?  Isn't it comfortable that way?  More comfortable to blend in than to stick out?  As we bump up against the world each day we are challenged to act differently than the world.  When our children are in a situation where others are challenging or retaliating or talking about someone, the easiest thing is to join in.  It is safe.  It is hard to go against the grain when what you want to do is join in, or win at any cost, or get the position or reaction that gains the respect or praise of the group.

Emma and I were recently with a group of her friends where we ordered sodas for all the girls.  When they came, we realized we had ordered too few root beers and too many sprites.  What I wanted my daughter to do was to take the extra sprite and kindly, let her friend have the root beer, even though she wanted the root beer.  I wanted her to put others first, to show the kindness that we have been talking about all month.  Guess what?  She didn't.  She dug her heels in, looked me in the eyes and said, "I ordered the root beer."  Ugh.  Another girl did show kindness and gave up her desire to have root beer and settled for a sprite.  Who knew the choice of soda would be such a learning experience.  Not my proudest moment but it did open an opportunity to have a conversation with my daughter privately.
Don't we grow weary of trying to do good?  Isn't it sometimes easy to just go with the flow of the traffic?  But in Galatians 6:9 it says, "Let us NOT grow weary of doing good..."  I think that is in there because God knew we would grow weary and that it would be hard to persevere.  In similar fashion, don't we grow weary of parenting our kids in the spiritual disciplines, encouraging and guiding them in the fruits of the spirit?  Especially when we don't always see results.  Parenting is a constant feeding and pruning process that will sometimes take time to show any result.  Doesn't anything that is constant make us weary?  It does me.

There are many examples of trees and growth and the fruit that we are to produce in the bible.  One of my favorites is Matthew 12:33-35.  It says, "Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognizable by its fruit...For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him..."  If we think about parenting from this example, our children need constant feeding and pruning.  We need to be intentional about their discipleship and intentional about the good that we want them to store up in their heart.  They are so impressionable and the more they bump up against the world the more they are exposed and tempted to act like everyone else.  But isn't it our job as parents to try to fill them with good so that their overflow is good and kind and not competitive and aggressive?
But this cannot be achieved on Sunday mornings, or a weekly devotional.  This needs to be a part of our comings and goings, a part of our daily conversations.  It is constant and makes me weary just thinking about it.  But the fruit, oh the fruit.  What we have to remember is that once a tree is planted to takes a good bit of care, feeding, pruning, fertilizing and time for the fruit to be luscious and ripe.  We need to have the patience and care to stay the course regardless of the small blossoms that are sometimes sweet and beautiful and sometimes brown and ugly.  We, and our children, are fruitful works in progress.  Henri Nowen writes, "We are called to be fruitful - not successful, not productive, not accomplished. Success comes from strength, stress, and human effort. Fruitfulness comes from vulnerability and the admission of our own weakness."  There will be times when our children's fruit is not that attractive, when they really want a ROOT BEER!  But we can also have the same reaction to life and it is in our vulnerability that we can sometimes show our kids that we understand how hard it is.  Kindness in all situations is more of a challenge than we like to admit.

Isaiah 27:2-5 says, "In that day - 'Sing about a fruitful vineyard: I, the Lord, watch over it; I water it continually.  I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it.  I am not angry.  If only there were briers and thorns confronting me!  I would march against them in battle; I would set them all on fire.  Or else let them come to me for refuge; let them make peace with me, yes, let them make peace with me.'"
I did not call Emma out in the moment of the root beer debacle, even though I wanted to yank her arm, give her a stern look and say, "How is that KIND?"  But after the fact, once we were alone, I was able to calm down and we had a wonderful conversation about how hard it is to be different that others when what you want is to fit in and feel safe.  Emma and I were each other's refuge in that moment and each other's peace.  I strive (sometimes successfully, sometimes not) to set that example now, so that as they move from us being their center to God being their center, they are pulling from his overflowing love that will constantly water them and will never grow weary.  Do we guard them like a vineyard, constantly watering, filling them with God's disciplines and words?  I know I don't always, but it is a constant striving, from which I am sometimes weary. 

Kindness and goodness as we bump up against the world we live in, is a fruitful work in progress in our home, what about yours?

By His Grace